Listening is a greatly undervalued skill. Everybody talks about being a great speaker, but even more than being an excellent presenter, you need to be an excellent listener.
- Being a good listener is not only helpful, it is essential to respond well to what is asked of you,
- A good listener even notices what another person may not be saying
- A good listener is present in the moment, and because of that, extremely magnetic.
We spent a great deal of our time preparing what we are going to answer next so we look good, so we sound intelligent, so we’re snappy and fast. The sad thing is, listening skills have really gone out of the window, and with it fine communication.
Is listening so important?
Listening skills are definitely overlooked and there are plenty of misconceptions about when and how to listen. Even when you are the one paid to talk and giving a presentation, you need to listen to your audience. If you have a break scheduled for 10 minutes from now and you hear them getting restless, wrap up and go for the break. Skills like that are what make a good speaker, great.
Do listening skills help with your job search?
You bet they do. I overheard two men interviewing a series of people for a mid-level corporate job. It seemed to me that most of the people interviewed were not answering the questions asked of them. I could see the interviewer’s eyes glaze over. At the end of the interview sessions, I asked the interviewer what was the single biggest thing that disappointed him about the people they were interviewing. Are you ready for this?
He said, “They don’t listen! No matter what I ask them, they go on and on about their qualifications, how perfect they are for the job, about what they expect from the job and they are not listening to me. What kind of employees are they going to be if they can’t even listen in an interview?” I have always remembered his answer. How does this apply to you? Let’s look at three scenarios.
Talking with your boss
Every situation benefits from good listening skills. It is especially important that you listen to your boss. Listen to what he or she is saying, listen to what is asked of you, listen to her tone of voice, read his body language and listen with all of your senses. Take your time before you respond. Squeeze your toes in your shoes two times at least, before you answer a question. Well thought out answers are so much more impressive than careless ones.
In a meeting
Listening well in a meeting saves an enormous amount of time. If you listen well you will also avoid misunderstandings. If you want to impress others around you – listen. You will impress them because you have really listened to the questions being asked, the problems brought to the table and you will have legitimate solutions – all because you truly listened.
In networking
If you’re not listening to the people you’re speaking with, all you’re doing is blowing your own horn. To make fine music together, you have to listen to each other. If you’ve ever watched a jazz trio play or chamber quartet, you’ll see they are listening to each other and blending. Whether or not you listen to the people you are networking with will make a big difference in how they perceive you. It will also make a difference in how forthcoming they will be with any help. If someone senses you are truly interested in them, they will be far more likely to remember you.
Listening is the most essential element of good communication. Don’t forget to breathe, to think, listen, listen, and listen some more, and then speak.
There is a Chinese proverb that says, “To listen well is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well.” And I might add, it is essential to true communication.